New Year, New Rules: The Declassified School (Anxiety) Survival Guide

Ahh, the end of summer. Nights are cooler, fall is quickly approaching, and the dog days are (almost) behind us. We can relax and breathe now... right? Wrong! The new school year is right around the corner, and that comes with a wave of new stressors for kids, parents, caregivers, and teachers. The end of summer means settling in to new routines and planning for the year ahead, often bringing feelings of anxiety that we can't quite place. I can say that it's normal to feel worried this month, but that won't make the post-summer scaries go away. Instead, I'm here to give you a few tangible tips to make transitioning into the new academic year a little smoother -- for everyone involved.

Revamp your routineS

When I was growing up, my mom made us go to sleep before the sun set (yes, even in the summertime). In hindsight, I know she had the right idea. Routine is imperative in ensuring a smooth back-to-school transition, but routine is more than keeping a consistent bedtime. 

Think about it: kids go from a stress-free summer to being launched into a full time, tightly-structured schedule. And oftentimes, we expect them to make the switch without much fuss. That just isn’t realistic. Easing into a new norm is so much easier and more feasible when it happens gradually. This may require a little planning ahead, but I promise it’s worth it.

As you plan out how you want to help your kids transition into the new school year, consider routines that feel fresh without becoming overwhelming. Bedtime is important, yes, but balancing novelty with consistency helps you stick to your guns and keep the routine in place. This might look like a special snack on the way to school, intentional connection time before bed, or an activity that you only do on school days. It can also be really helpful to ask your kiddos what they would like to incorporate into their school routine to keep the momentum and motivation going.

out of sight, out of mind (visual schedules)

Out of sight, out of mind. Enough said. Giving your kiddos a verbal rundown of the day simply isn’t enough. So many things go on throughout the school day that they’re either forgetting everything you’ve said by lunchtime or they’re anxiously awaiting the ice cream you promised after school (and zoning out during their lessons). Visual schedules help them - and you - see a clear picture of the routine you’ve built together. 

Visual schedules are for folks of all ages. You can incorporate colors, pictures, stickers, designs and more to really tailor it to your kids. Even better, you can get them involved in building the schedule each week. Bonus points for promoting creativity AND autonomy. Kids feel safe when routines are predictable (samesies!). Visual schedules are great because they help kids feel involved while increasing independence and providing consistency and predictability. 

Decompression sessions

After a long, hard day of work, many of us need a little “me time.” Our kids need that, too. School can be exhausting! It’s a whole day of learning, socializing, and being ‘on’ – just to do it all over again the next day! Being able to decompress in a way that feels natural and revitalizing is just as important for youth as it is for us. 

Finding ways to decompress that fit your kids’ needs doesn't have to be hard, either. Typically, the things they find themselves naturally doing are key pointers to their regulation skills. Decompression can look like coloring, playing outside, helping with dinner, or having some alone time. Let your kids experiment with different activities that bring them peace before jumping into the ‘How was your day?’ conversation. A fun tip is coming up with a code word together to signal that they (or you) need some extra self-care time to wind down from the day before re-engaging in family time.

Normalize the nerves

Have you ever witnessed someone have an “Aha!” moment when they realize they aren't the only one who experiences certain emotions? It is so easy for us to tell our kiddos that there is nothing to be afraid of when returning to school. It’s our default – we want to soothe them, to reassure them that everything will be okay. In reality, we ALL experience some level of anxiety when we are starting something new. 

Shifting back into an environment where your entire week is structured and planned out for you IS scary! It can help to share your own experiences of feeling nervous or uncertain before a big change. You can even invite your littles to give YOU advice on how to navigate new and uncertain situations. Chances are, they have much more insight than we give them credit for. Normalize the nerves by being a little vulnerable, and they may surprise you with the words of courage they already have inside. 

TakeawayS

Whether they are starting at a new school, entering a new grade, or jumping into their middle school rebrand, new beginnings are right around the corner. Anxiety is running high all around, but there are ways to help ease the nerves, establish consistent expectations and routines, and leave time to de-stress after long school days. Regardless of your role in your kids' lives, be sure to prioritize predictability and space to breathe. After all, it is only the beginning. Happy back to school!